August 2011
5 posts
To the bank!
Preface: looking for my bankcard
Mom: What are you looking for
Tracey: my bank card
Mom: oh why did you go and lose that?!
Tracey: I didn’t mean to. obviously.
Mom: Well, anyways, I’ve seen it
Tracey: Oh why didn’t you just say that?
Mom: Cause its probably not there anymore
Tracey: Where was it?
Mom: well it was in the living room the otherday
Tracey: oh ok
Mom: but...
July 2011
9 posts
Bogan
Preface: Bogan is Australian Slang for white trash
Cat Calls
Walking home with shaney on late and rainy night
*Creepy car of guys whistling and honking and harassing us from behind*
Tracey: I hate this. Arg. Typical loser guys.
*Gets louder and closer, slowing down at us*
Shaney: i really really hope they dont stop and stalk us home
*guys pull up next to us*
Guy: NOT HOT!
*Car races away*
Shaney: WTF?!
Tracey: …IM WEARING A RAIN JACKET!
...
Premed
Preface: Meeting new group at McGill
*introducing ourselves*
Girl: (to group) Hi I’m Ashley.
-Pause-
I’m in Premed.
-Pause-
Do you even know what that is?
Tracey: pre…med…? Nope, above my head.
Mothers on Facebook
Preface: Mushu is an australian band
My mom now has facebook Mom: Oh look! There’s Mushu on the computer! Tracey: Cool… Mom: Look There they are!! Tracey: mhm Mom: Why can’t I hear them play? Tracey: …its a picture? Mom: but why isn’t it playing? Tracey: Cause its not a video Mom: But when I click on it, I don’t hear any music Tracey: Cause it’s a picture.
There's a Fire
Preface: My friend Sara was at a resort
*Woman walks up to her at the bar*
Woman: Hi Whats your name?
Sara: I’m Sara
Woman: I’m Adele
Sara: Nice to meet you
Woman: no like I’m Adele
Sara: …cool… I’m Sara
Adele: No, I mean I’m Adele, the British singer…
Sara: Oh thats nice that you sing
Adele: NO, like I’m really well known
Sara: …alright…??
Adele: I’m going to bring you my...
Anything but that
Scene: My mom pregnant with my older sister
Dad: If its a girl what should we name her?
Mom: I don’t care as long as its not Samantha!
-After she’s been born-
*Doctor hands my mother the baby*
Doctor: Have we decided on a name yet?
Mom: …SAMANTHA!
Dad: …????????!!!!!!!
Last Samurai
Preface: My anonymous friend, lets call him “Dave”, just moved into a new apartment. His favorite board game is called Samurai Swords.
Scene: Meeting new neighbours
Dave: Have you ever played Samurai Swords?
Neighbours: …Yes! All the time! You do too!?
Dave: OMG Lets meet back in 5 minutes and play!!
-5 minutes later-
*Dave runs out with the board game*
*Neighbours...
You know it was a good night when...
Preface: we had a big night
Scene: the next day
Shaney: I’ve been wearing this bracelet on since last night
Tracey: Its cute! where did you get it
Shaney: …thats what i mean… I’ve had it on since last night but I don’t know whos it is
Tracey: What?
Shaney: …i vaguely remember saying “mine now bitches!”
lawl.
