To the bank!
Preface: looking for my bankcard Mom: What are you looking for Tracey: my bank card Mom: oh why did you go and lose that?! Tracey: I didn’t mean to. obviously. Mom: Well, anyways, I’ve seen it Tracey: Oh why didn’t you just say that? Mom: Cause its probably not there anymore Tracey: Where was it? Mom: well it was in the living room the otherday Tracey: oh ok Mom: but...
Preface: Bogan is Australian Slang for white trash
Walking home with shaney on late and rainy night *Creepy car of guys whistling and honking and harassing us from behind* Tracey: I hate this. Arg. Typical loser guys. *Gets louder and closer, slowing down at us* Shaney: i really really hope they dont stop and stalk us home *guys pull up next to us* Guy: NOT HOT! *Car races away* Shaney: WTF?! Tracey: …IM WEARING A RAIN JACKET! ...
Preface: Meeting new group at McGill *introducing ourselves* Girl: (to group) Hi I’m Ashley. -Pause- I’m in Premed. -Pause- Do you even know what that is? Tracey: pre…med…? Nope, above my head.
Mothers on Facebook
Preface: Mushu is an australian band My mom now has facebook Mom: Oh look! There’s Mushu on the computer! Tracey: Cool… Mom: Look There they are!! Tracey: mhm Mom: Why can’t I hear them play? Tracey: …its a picture? Mom: but why isn’t it playing? Tracey: Cause its not a video Mom: But when I click on it, I don’t hear any music Tracey: Cause it’s a picture.
There's a Fire
Preface: My friend Sara was at a resort *Woman walks up to her at the bar* Woman: Hi Whats your name? Sara: I’m Sara Woman: I’m Adele Sara: Nice to meet you Woman: no like I’m Adele Sara: …cool… I’m Sara Adele: No, I mean I’m Adele, the British singer… Sara: Oh thats nice that you sing Adele: NO, like I’m really well known Sara: …alright…?? Adele: I’m going to bring you my...
Anything but that
Scene: My mom pregnant with my older sister Dad: If its a girl what should we name her? Mom: I don’t care as long as its not Samantha! -After she’s been born- *Doctor hands my mother the baby* Doctor: Have we decided on a name yet? Mom: …SAMANTHA! Dad: …????????!!!!!!!
Preface: My anonymous friend, lets call him “Dave”, just moved into a new apartment. His favorite board game is called Samurai Swords. Scene: Meeting new neighbours Dave: Have you ever played Samurai Swords? Neighbours: …Yes! All the time! You do too!? Dave: OMG Lets meet back in 5 minutes and play!! -5 minutes later- *Dave runs out with the board game* *Neighbours...
You know it was a good night when...
Preface: we had a big night Scene: the next day Shaney: I’ve been wearing this bracelet on since last night Tracey: Its cute! where did you get it Shaney: …thats what i mean… I’ve had it on since last night but I don’t know whos it is Tracey: What? Shaney: …i vaguely remember saying “mine now bitches!” lawl.