July 2012
4 posts
5 tags
Pick up lines
Preface: Walking home alone last night.
*Creepy Man coming up to me*
Me: Hello?!
CreepyMan: Can I have your digits?
*awkward pause*
CreepyMan: …and I don’t mean your fingers.
Me: Neither. You can’t have either.
*runs away*
10 tags
Teaching Chronicles: Ultimatums
(When kids are being difficult, pretending to give them a choice can help persuade them to do what you ask)
Preface: Teaching swimming lessons to a 4 year old girl.
Teacher: Okay, let’s blow bubbles!
Child: No, I don’t want to get my face wet.
Teacher: Alright, well you can blow bubbles or I can pour water over your hair
*blows bubbles angrily*
Teacher: Good Job! Let’s swim...
5 tags
The Amazing Super Hero
Preface: Conversation with my Mom during the preview for The Amazing Spider Man
Me: If I was a super hero what would my powers be?
Mom: You could kick people in the head with your huge legs!
Me: That’s my power?!
Mom: And use your screechy voice to break windows so people would fall out!
Me: I said Super Hero not Villain.
Mom: I’m just trying to be realistic.
3 tags