here's the story...

Preface: Old friends catching up at a party

Girl: So who are you here with?

Guy: My girlfriend actually.

Girl: Oh, girlfriend eh?

Guy: Yup…

Girl: So where is she?!

Guy: Just look for the prettiest girl in the room!

Girl: Oh wow, you’re dating that hot brunette on the dance floor?!

Guy: No, actually she’s that blond in the corner…

*awkward pause* 

Girl: Not the brunette? 

Guy: Nope…

Girl: (confused) ’Cause I thought you said…

Guy: No, she’s the blond.

Girl: Oh, she seems nice…

Preface: My sister and I playing with her Iphone.

Sister: I love apps! 

Me: I know..

Sister: Have you seen my frogs? 

Me: What? 

Sister: The Pocket Frogs app lets you breed frogs!

Me: I love frogs!

Sister: What about Tiny Tower?

Me: What’s that? 

Sister: YOU BUILD A TINY TOWER!

Me: Just what I’ve always wanted… Can we be social and talk about something normal?

*pause*

Sister: I can’t believe Emma thinks I’m fatter than her

Me: No she doesn’t…

Sister: She said “look at your arms then look at mine, you’re obviously bigger than me.”

Me: Well, you’re not. You don’t think I’m fat and we’re the same size so don’t be dumb.

Sister: Are we?

Me: Probably

Sister: How much do you weigh?

Me: I really don’t know. 

Sister: OMG Let’s weigh ourselves so we know who’s fatter!

Me: I don’t even have a scale!

Sister: (pauses while thinking) OMG Do you think there’s Iphone app for that?!

Me: No.

Sister: I bet there is!

Me: Please don’t stand on your phone.

Preface: On my way out to a big event

Emma: When are you leaving?

Tracey: Now, I’m super late!

Emma: Why?

Tracey: (Putting on jacket) It took me forever to get ready.

Emma: Have fun.

Tracey: Don’t I look cute?!

Emma: No. I was about to tell you to go change.

…followed by…

Tracey:  I’m late and I have to leave!

Mom: Why are you still home?

Tracey: Emma’s slowing me down!

Mom: Ignore her.

Tracey: Thanks, see you later!

Mom: Are you wearing that?!

Tracey: What!? What’s wrong with it?

Mom: …nothing. It’s fine.

Emma:(calling from upstairs) It’s not.

Tracey: WTF!

Mom: It’s fine! It doesn’t matter what you look like!

Tracey: Thanks. (Goes to change)