here's the story...

Preface: Walking home alone last night.  

*Creepy Man coming up to me*

Me: Hello?!

CreepyMan: Can I have your digits?

*awkward pause*

CreepyMan: …and I don’t mean your fingers.

Me: Neither. You can’t have either. 

*runs away*

Preface: Waking up at 9 am

Tracey: Hello?! Mom? Emma?

*no answer* 

Tracey: (to self) No one’s home?

*I hear someone walking downstairs* 

Tracey: Hello?

*Looks around house*

*Dog starts barking*

Tracey: (to self) WTF?! This is reallly creepy!

*Sees that the front door’s opened*

Tracey: (to self) That’s really nice and safe of my family to leave the door unlocked*

-Mom comes home with groceries 1 hour later-

Mom: Oh hi, you’re still here

Tracey: Ya, no thanks to you. 

Mom: What?

Tracey: I thought someone was in the house, AND you left the door opened

Mom: Ya, I always leave the door unlocked when you’re home

Tracey: You ALWAYS lock it for emma when she’s alone

Mom: You’re older than she is

Tracey: So I’m more disposable?

Mom: That’s why I had three kids.

…